Disappointment revisited

I just read a quote by Bob Goff which said: "God doesn't stand us up against door jams to see how much we've grown; He stands us up against disappointments and then measures."

Last night I had a hard conversation with a friend. It was by no means a bad conversation; in fact, it was honest and I think the words that were spoken were done so out of love. However, my expectations were not met in the ways I thought they would be. I find myself disappointed because the end results isn't what I wanted. Another reminder that things are often better when I am not the one who is in control of things. I mess up and make mistakes. I place my often unrealistic expectations on others and on situations and find myself disappointed that the result isn't to my liking. When I try to be objective and look at the situation and my response, I'm realizing that I have grown. My disappointment isn't affecting the attitude of my heart in the same way it would have a year ago. I'm finding it much easier to have grace towards my friend and myself, to trust that God sees the big picture when I can only see this situation, and that despite things not going my way I realize this outcome is best. I'm still desperately trying to understand it all but I also finding it easier to have a peace about it all even though I don't, and may not ever, fully understand.

So Mr. Goff's words ring true to me today. God has a funny way of working.

I am thankful for a God that is gracious towards me when I don't deserve it - when I'd rather kick and scream and beg for my way like a spoiled child because I think it's better than His. I'm thankful that he grants peace that is well beyond my understanding. And I'm thankful for a God that is "for me", who is patient when I forget that, and who uses all situations to mold me more into His image.