Fear

Over the past few weeks I've had many conversations with friends about fear. It's not always said outright, but I think the heart of so many of my concerns and my friend's concerns these days have to do with fear - fear of "what's next" and the "unknown" in our lives. For me, I have realized that I spend a lot of time imagining how my life will play out. Sometimes it's a conversation with a friend or maybe it's imagining a job I will have one day or a house I might live in. Sometimes my imagination runs a little wild and I go to the worst case scenario of what could happen. And I find it's destructive. I get myself worked up about things that have never happened and I have no control over. I have discovered that the problem is wanting to be in control and lacking trust that God is in control of my life and circumstances. I so badly want to know what will happen and be able to control the outcomes that I forget that I don't need to be in control. In fact, it's always better when I'm not. But it takes courage and trust to let go. I am incredibly independent and stubborn to a fault (and have been since I was a child running around screaming "I do self" when anyone would try to help me with anything). If I believe that God is who he says he is and if I believe he has good things for me, why in the world do I constantly fear whatever lies ahead and question the path he is leading me down?